Umkay. BMM and I had the pleasure of hangin' out in Southern Indiana over the weekend. We were deep in the heart of REDNECK country. It was quite educational as it always tends to be. From the "STOP S.O.B.'s" (stop sexually oriented businesses) campaign to partying with the locals at a Best Western it was FULL ON REDNECK. The "MO" invasion was on.
The most memorable redneck was Cricket. Hey, I don't make this stuff up. A man who is probably in his late 40's or early 50's and probably has Schlitz Malt liquor on tap at his farm. He was tore up from the farm up. He actually rode his horse to the Best Western. I had to see it for myself. Poor trigger was tied up outside at one of the lights overlooking the parking lot. Trigger's saddle was decorated with reflective strips. You could just hear trigger saying "Damnit if this fool is not drunk yet again and I have to carry his ass all the way back to the farm!" Is it possible that there is a R.U.I or H.U.I in farm country?
Cricket had one six pack too many. At one point I wondered if his eyes were glassy or if they were glass eyes. His ability to drink, smoke, cuss like a sailor and slobber were impressive. I just kept waiting for an ass or crotch scratch and thankfully that did not occur. Although it was funny to hear him talk about the town whore and to also hear him scream "BITCH" at the town bitch. Neither woman was really phased much as they were making moves to obtain hotel keys for the after party. Cricket was a BIG OLE MESS!! He had to be helped out to his horse. He may still be lost on some back road or cornfield. Bless his heart.
I cannot remember the last time a party was held at a Best Western Ballroom. I think this memory shall last us for a while. Not really sure that I need to hear "Git 'er done" anytime soon.
All in all it was an awesome time!! We should have served as the dj's for the night. Some of the cd's and songs were busted big time. We won the game of *cornhole (I actually got 4 in the hole) as it was couple against couple (Me and Boo/BMM and Tiffany). I am sure the effect of Budlight helped quite a bit on that rainy Saturday night.
*-see prior blog entry "Cornhole"