"Biggest Loser" - Suzy Rocks!

Both BMM and myself were cheering for Suzy!

What a huge difference for all three finalists!
A shout out to Andrea for looking HOT last night.

Special note to the host - Caroline Rhea.....you need some good gay friends to help you before you hit the stage. MESS! MESS!! MESS!!! You look like you had just been in a back alley bitch slappin fight and then grabbed your wig and plopped it on yo' head before the show. You looked bruised and abused.

Some bad editing on this finale show as well. Camera angles all off and camera operators lost from the top of the show. MESS!!!!

Egg Bowl 2005

Mississippi State vs. Ole Miss (or Ole Mess whichever you prefer)

After a lackluster season for both teams, it was a showdown. Most of the critics picked the Rebels for a big win. UPSET!!! State not only won the football game - but they looked like a bowl bound team! 35-14 was the final score. It was a great game to see and we had the perfect seats. The only thing not perfect were the Ole Miss fans sitting in front of us. They left early in the 4th quarter with the Rebel flag tucked firmly in their ass.

It takes a lot of nerve for an Ole Miss fan to walk through the Bulldog tailgate parties. One rebel almost got his ass kicked for doing so. Just ignant!!

I say so long until next year Ole Miss because ya'll were a big ole mess - on and off the field. Mo power to the dawgs!!

The Lottery

I want to give a shout-out to my cuzzins, LS & SS out in Los Angles. They are releasing their first CD with the band "The Lottery". The CD is titled "All your Vices, Use Them Well".


Check them out here: The Lottery on MySpace OR The Lottery's Official Website (Coming Soon)!!

Also, the tracks from the CD will be available through iTunes very soon.

Starkville, Mississippi's Biggest Mess Proclaims, "This Town Loooooves ME!"

So R24 and I get to Starkville, MS on Friday night. We were there to see friends and go to the Mississippi State vs. Mississippi football game (MSU won handily 35-14). Anywho, Mr. LPB was a drunken MESS before we even got there. See, LPB is one of my bestest friends and he was a mean ole bitch that night!

We were at a restaurant with some friends having dinner and this queen was yellin and screamin. We tried to settle him down and all he kept saying was that "These people in here KNOOOOOWWW ME! They don't care! This town LOOOOVES ME!".

LOL. I about fell out of my chair. Um YEAH...they love how you ACT A FOOL out in public!! UGH...and LPB was picking on me all night! :( BLAH!

However, the next day we all had fun and everything was ok. I think what happens is as long as you are on the same drunken level as the next person then you don't notice how obnoxious you or anyone else around you is. I'm sure I was a big ole mess retard during the tailgate and game! :)

BREAKING HOLIDAYS NEWS FROM WASHINGTON, D.C.

There will be no nativity scene in Washington, DC this year!

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Twinkle Twankle

Jesus Christ on a Cross! I had no idea that the GOP chairname's name, in Alabama, is TWINKLE. LOL! What were ole mom and pop thinking?


Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh
I saw her today on MSNBC talking about the War in Iraq. She was claiming that the Democrats are anti-American in their current rhetoric for wanting to pull out of the war. She quoted Howard Dean (DNC leader) for calling Republicans "only white Christians" after trying to defend Rep. Jean Schmidt's (R-Ohio) quip from a Marine colonel: "He asked me to send Congress a message -- stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message -- that cowards cut and run, Marines never do," Schmidt said. Murtha is a 37-year Marine veteran.

[HEY SCHMIDT! Insert foot in mouth now.]

Anywayz...

What if for some reason (and I am being very hypothetical here) if she were to rise in the ranks, run for President, and win?

Reporter #1: "Umm...Madame President Twinkle...Do you feel that the other heads-of-state are wrong when they giggle at the sound of your name as you enter a room?"

President Twinkle: "Yes...I do. Now...does anyone have a legitimate question to ask regarding this summit?"

Reporter #2: "Madame President Twinkle...if you could be any star in this grand universe of ours, excluding Holly and Bali Woods, which one would you be and why?"

President Twinkle: "For God's sake! This press conference is OVER!"

I don't think the press would ever get over her name.

Wretched-Ass Plant

Well it looks like the nasty smelling Amorphophallus titanum plant is in bloom again at the U.S. Botanic Garden in D.C. I saw and smelled it a couple of years ago with my friend JM. It was N-A-S-T-Y and impressive all at the same time. Wonder why "phallus" is in it's name....Hmmmmm...???


A quote from the CNN.com article: "Now that it's in bloom, the plant has also started emitting a smell that's drawn comparisons to garbage, spoiled meat, and rotting fish."

That is one big ole 12 foot high, stank, RANK MESS.

Overheard

"I see we have a celebrity up in here to-day...give it up and put yo hands togetha for the complex multi-talents of MISS LATOYA JACKSON!!....who is sitting in first class with us today."

Creative Clay

If any of you "Mo's" watched the Apprentice last night you probably saw Clay exit the Trump Tower for the final time. I have to admit I was cheering for Clay along the way for a little bit and then his antics got a little old. He would have been perfect as the Blizzard Queen for the Dairy Queen mascot!! Not because he is gay but because he can be frigid, bitter and abrasive in a New York minute.

Clay could possibly be the son or younger brother of Leslie Jordan from "Will & Grace." I think they may be the same height at 4' 11". I think Clay and Leslie Jordan should hit the road and perform in Southern drag bars doing "Sister's" or some other campy number.

I am sure that there were creative edits around Clay and his antics. It is Hollywood and Trump after all. So it is getting down to the wire and it had become quite apparent that Clay was difficult to work with. Let's do the math here. Openly gay, real estate agent from Texas. Of course Clay was going to ride the pony his way. Good job Clay but it was time for the "MO" to go!! Huffing and puffing along the way did not help matters. I kept waiting for a full out temper tantrum.

Like Trump said - "That is why they have menus in restaurants. I like steak, some people like spaghetti. That's OK." The side order (ahem...short order) of Clay is no longer on the Trump menu. Which I for one think is good. Leave the drama in Texas.

MESS! MESS!! MESS!!!

Ana Lucia ROCKS

Lord have mercy on the Tailaways! That Ana Lucia girl put herself into a situation that could have turned out to be one BIG OLE MESS on last night's episode of Lost but instead all turned out for the best. Kudos to her for going off ALONE with someone she KNEW was a danger and taking him out! That scene was awesome with the fruit and knife. Goodwin got kabobbed on a stick! I can't wait to see how the rest of the Lost characters react when everyone is reunited. This show is crazy-addictive!

Check out the Theory Threads to satisfy the itch until next week!

Cricket and Trigger

Umkay. BMM and I had the pleasure of hangin' out in Southern Indiana over the weekend. We were deep in the heart of REDNECK country. It was quite educational as it always tends to be. From the "STOP S.O.B.'s" (stop sexually oriented businesses) campaign to partying with the locals at a Best Western it was FULL ON REDNECK. The "MO" invasion was on.

The most memorable redneck was Cricket. Hey, I don't make this stuff up. A man who is probably in his late 40's or early 50's and probably has Schlitz Malt liquor on tap at his farm. He was tore up from the farm up. He actually rode his horse to the Best Western. I had to see it for myself. Poor trigger was tied up outside at one of the lights overlooking the parking lot. Trigger's saddle was decorated with reflective strips. You could just hear trigger saying "Damnit if this fool is not drunk yet again and I have to carry his ass all the way back to the farm!" Is it possible that there is a R.U.I or H.U.I in farm country?

Cricket had one six pack too many. At one point I wondered if his eyes were glassy or if they were glass eyes. His ability to drink, smoke, cuss like a sailor and slobber were impressive. I just kept waiting for an ass or crotch scratch and thankfully that did not occur. Although it was funny to hear him talk about the town whore and to also hear him scream "BITCH" at the town bitch. Neither woman was really phased much as they were making moves to obtain hotel keys for the after party. Cricket was a BIG OLE MESS!! He had to be helped out to his horse. He may still be lost on some back road or cornfield. Bless his heart.

I cannot remember the last time a party was held at a Best Western Ballroom. I think this memory shall last us for a while. Not really sure that I need to hear "Git 'er done" anytime soon.
All in all it was an awesome time!! We should have served as the dj's for the night. Some of the cd's and songs were busted big time. We won the game of *cornhole (I actually got 4 in the hole) as it was couple against couple (Me and Boo/BMM and Tiffany). I am sure the effect of Budlight helped quite a bit on that rainy Saturday night.

*-see prior blog entry "Cornhole"

Cornhole!

I was in southern Indiana with R24 over the past weekend. We were introduced to a game called Cornhole. Never heard of it? Well we hadn't either. I saw grown, drunk men and women throwing bean bags at wooden ramps with holes at the top, and I was thinking, "What the hell?"


I about spit my beer out when the locals told us what the game was called...CORNHOLE! HaHa...yeah yeah...I'm being adolescent. The Official Standards and Rules are on the Corn Toss Game Association website :)


The town whore and town bitch were really good at the game. I saw them play, drink, flirt, and be down right redneck all night. I sucked at the game....never got one bag in the hole.

I think I might have a fun craft project on my hands this weekend. I'm sure Home Depot has all the materials needed to make my own cornhole ramps and bean bags! YAY! PROJECT!

Seafood WHAT?!

Oh---My---God---Becky...

Seafood ice cream has arrived and is a HOT item in Tawain. How gross. Asians have the weirdest taste in food! (I shouldn't generalize, but it's too easy not to.)

Yeah...Yeah...I know...Don't knock it 'till you try it. Well until I do, I will say it sure does SOUND gross. Excerpt: "The 13 flavours on offer include pineapple shrimp, wasabi cuttlefish, strawberry tuna and mango seaweed, all in stark colors from orange to green to black."

YUM!!!

PANK is the New BLAH!

I HAVE to give a shout-out to this blog that was just introduced to me by DMN called Pink is the New Blog. This blog is hilarious! Oh...and I'm loving the paparazzi photos. Definitely take a look. This guy makes the celebs look like huge messes.

F.A.G.

The good people at Grayson Fairbanks, Inc. have put together a line of body products in an attempt to eliminate the negative connotations attached to the word "fag". 'Fag' is now an acronym that stands for "Fabulous and Gay". What a great idea!

Their signature product is called "F.A.G. in a Bag" and it includes: Hair and Body Wash, Hair Conditioner, Body Cream, Shave Cream, and Lip Balm.

Other products are available including t-shirts :) Check it out!

RLY says, "What will they think of next?"

I say, "MESS!"

I am 'Lost'

Lost was great last night! I am seriously buying into the theory that all the passengers are really dead and that the island represent some type of purgatory. It seems that when one of the islanders put closure to something that has been bothering them they die (or move on to the spiritual world). Just like last night when someone (Sayid) finally believed in Shannon we heard the whispers of "The Others" and bam she's gone.

I can't wait to see next week's episode and learn the fate of the back half of the airplane. This show is addictive and drives people NUTS. There are so many message boards and websites devoted to Oceanic Flight #815 that I'm deeming it one Big Ole Mess.

THE VIRGINIA GOVERNOR'S RACE

Thank goodness the election is finally over.
Nothing but an ugly mess.

Could you possibly imagine 4 years of Kilgore and that high pitched southern voice.

Thankfully Kain prevailed and struck another blow to the Bush White House!

Would you really be that cruel?

Just in case you missed the last episode of "Desperate Housewives" you can now download from Itunes for a mere $1.99 per episode. I know....DAMN, that's cheap.
So...in the episode there is a work related situation with Lynn. Apparently she has been the butt of many jokes in the office about her lack of attire. She buys a stunning white suit and to leaves the tags intact so that she can return it after the big meeting. During the big meeting she slightly turns and her boss notices a price tag on the skirt. Most decent people would pull you aside and tell you privately that you are giving some Minnie Pearl. But no....Lynn is humiliated when her boss rips the tag off of the skirt and hands it to her. WHAT A BITCH!! Perhaps there will be a good cat fight between these two before the end of the season. Go Lynn!! Take a whack-a-wheezer!!
Other items of desperate mention. C'mon Bree the dude is a creep, he helped Rex to an early grave and he is a big ole closet "MO!"
Gabrielle, playing hard to get is just not your game. What happened to the diversity in the circle this week? Susan, Susan, SUSAN!! The crying in Mom's wedding gown, running barefoot after Mike, standing in the middle of the street, blocking Mike's truck, pleading for mercy and begging for forgiveness was a "BIG OLE MESS" and a little too much over the top.

Miss Camel Toe 2005

OK...So I know that the Miss America Pageant is an establishment in this great country of ours, but there is something often overlooked at this event as well as in it's preliminaries. GIRLS!! PLEASE!! CHECK YO SELF!! (before walking out on stage).

I was at a preliminary pageant for Miss Pennsylvania (will not say which) and I saw way too much more than I should have. I figured the other contestants would say, "Girl, you need to fix that...your CAMEL TOE is showing!"...but no! MESS!

The judges were probably thinking, "Well just put that thing on a platter and bring it right up into my face why don't you?". Lordy.