[begin rant]
Lord Jesus! You would have thought that the terrorist alert level had gone to RED with the way people act around this city when it starts snowing. The whole damn federal government freaks out, sends people home, and shuts itself down!
Motorists on 395, 270 Spur, and the Beltway, among others, are all CRA-ZY. No one knows how to drive in this city first of all. We are a cross-section of every citizen in this country. Put us in the same city and driving habits mix and cause great confusion. Put snow up in the middle of us and it's just one big clusterfuck here in Our Nation's Capitol! I hope I don't go all ROAD RAGE on some idiot from Maryland today while driving home! You must pray.
[end rant]
12.05.2005
Today's Baptist Church Bulletin
SENTENCES WHICH ACTUALLY APPEARED IN A CHURCH BULLETIN OR WERE ANNOUNCED IN A SERVICE
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the
church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. Will ladies giving
milk, please come early.
Wednesday the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johns will sing "Put
Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
Thursday at 5 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All
wishing to become Little Mothers will please meet the Minister in his
study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jackson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the
new carpeting. All wishing to do something on the carpet, please come
forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the
church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. Will ladies giving
milk, please come early.
Wednesday the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johns will sing "Put
Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
Thursday at 5 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All
wishing to become Little Mothers will please meet the Minister in his
study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jackson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the
new carpeting. All wishing to do something on the carpet, please come
forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
The Holiday Party Season Has Started!!
Okie dokie. Myself and BMM attended a fabulous holiday party on Saturday evening. The invitation was very nice and we totally expected that the guest of honor would be in attendance. BUT NO! The four legged canine was not invited to his own party. He was held hostage at a nearby neighbor's house. Buster should have been there with an outfit on and reindeer antlers on his head! What the hell!!
Anyway......the night got very interesting. We were quite entertained with three women who we shall refer to as the "Three Wise Queens" due to the intake of alcohol.
Silky - Wise Woman #1 - was swaying in the wind although there was no wind inside the house. She could not have walked a straight line if she tried. She also had the "I LOVE YOU MAN" syndrome for the rest of the evening. Even when I called her dude as we were watching V. Tech get hammered by Florida State.
Rosy Cheeks - Wise Woman # 2 (owner of the house) was in rare form as well. She was busy entertaining the remaining drunks with drinks and trying to play matchmaker as well with a local neighbor man. The local neighbor man is related to a band member of Pearl Jam. Rosy was going through her list of Wisteria Lane to see who might be suitable for the gentlman. By the way.....Rosy was having this conversation in her pajamas, drinking wine and opening up a gift from "Silky" while Silky kept screaming that "YOU ARE SO GONNA LOVE THIS!" The gift was a Frogger game that plugs directly into the t.v. FROGGER...blast from the past!
The third wise woman was Miss Cleo. Miss Cleo was quite the trip. She kept the party at full throttle and was using party napkins as foul napkins for the party and for the V. Tech/FSU game. "FAG on the play, I mean Flag on the play" was her constant cry as she kept throwing napkins in the air. Miss Cleo also likes to arm wrestle. Don't do it. This girl has muscles from days gone by. She arm wrestled her brothers as a child and has not lost a match yet. Be AFRAID!
It was a long evening for us as we had been to the Miss Arlington pageant before the party. We were happy to announce to the three wise women that it was a good pageant and there was a lack of cameltoe this time around. Although BMM thinks he saw a little bit of CT on the winner but could not confirm the sighting.
We left the three big messes (the three wise women) to finish their wine and stories as it was approaching 1 a.m. The next day we got a phone call informing us that we left too soon because "Silky" was explaining the fine talents of dry humping to the older neighborhood gentleman. MESS!
We love the three wise women for being big ole messes. Congrats ladies. You made the blog.
Anyway......the night got very interesting. We were quite entertained with three women who we shall refer to as the "Three Wise Queens" due to the intake of alcohol.
Silky - Wise Woman #1 - was swaying in the wind although there was no wind inside the house. She could not have walked a straight line if she tried. She also had the "I LOVE YOU MAN" syndrome for the rest of the evening. Even when I called her dude as we were watching V. Tech get hammered by Florida State.
Rosy Cheeks - Wise Woman # 2 (owner of the house) was in rare form as well. She was busy entertaining the remaining drunks with drinks and trying to play matchmaker as well with a local neighbor man. The local neighbor man is related to a band member of Pearl Jam. Rosy was going through her list of Wisteria Lane to see who might be suitable for the gentlman. By the way.....Rosy was having this conversation in her pajamas, drinking wine and opening up a gift from "Silky" while Silky kept screaming that "YOU ARE SO GONNA LOVE THIS!" The gift was a Frogger game that plugs directly into the t.v. FROGGER...blast from the past!
The third wise woman was Miss Cleo. Miss Cleo was quite the trip. She kept the party at full throttle and was using party napkins as foul napkins for the party and for the V. Tech/FSU game. "FAG on the play, I mean Flag on the play" was her constant cry as she kept throwing napkins in the air. Miss Cleo also likes to arm wrestle. Don't do it. This girl has muscles from days gone by. She arm wrestled her brothers as a child and has not lost a match yet. Be AFRAID!
It was a long evening for us as we had been to the Miss Arlington pageant before the party. We were happy to announce to the three wise women that it was a good pageant and there was a lack of cameltoe this time around. Although BMM thinks he saw a little bit of CT on the winner but could not confirm the sighting.
We left the three big messes (the three wise women) to finish their wine and stories as it was approaching 1 a.m. The next day we got a phone call informing us that we left too soon because "Silky" was explaining the fine talents of dry humping to the older neighborhood gentleman. MESS!
We love the three wise women for being big ole messes. Congrats ladies. You made the blog.
12.02.2005
Miss America taking a GAMBLE in Las Vegas
Don't really need to say much mo!! 
Miss America is leaving Atlantic City for Sin City!!
Miss America is leaving Atlantic City for Sin City!!
12.01.2005
Shirley MacLaine Loves Her Some Oscar
Recently quoted in a CNN.com article, Shirley MacLaine states that she loves winning awards, but don't dress her up all nice! Most actors/actresses are modest about these things, but I love how Shirley tells the truth!
I can't help to notice how much different she looks in her recently released film "In Her Shoes" versus her upcoming film "Rumor Has It". She looks so much younger and thinner in the latter! I guess it's the hair and makeup? What do you think?
"In Her Shoes"
"Rumor Has It..."
MESS if you ask me...
When it comes to candor about the Oscars, Shirley MacLaine may take the best-actress prize. The five-time nominee, who won best actress for "Terms of Endearment," was blunt about the possibility of winning again, this time for her supporting role as a grandma in the sibling-rivalry tale "In Her Shoes."
"I love to win those things. Love it," MacLaine said. "The only part about it I don't like is the red carpet and getting a dress and walking around in high heels and holding in my stomach. I hate that."
I can't help to notice how much different she looks in her recently released film "In Her Shoes" versus her upcoming film "Rumor Has It". She looks so much younger and thinner in the latter! I guess it's the hair and makeup? What do you think?
"In Her Shoes"
"Rumor Has It..."
MESS if you ask me...
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