Damn you FX! You fucked up and released those pictures too soon! I bet SOMEONE got FIRED yesterday over at FX Networks!! However, it was my own curiosity that ruined the finale for me! The story was great though...bravo! I wonder what's up with Julia's new baby and what happened to the white supremasist guy? I was like "HELL YEAH!" when Cherry Peck got up from that shallow grave and knocked the shit out of him with that shovel!

Anywho...Quentin and Kit....rot in hell. You're NAST and caused one hell of a BIG OLE MESS down in Miami carving up everyone. Wonder if the citizens of Madrid will be your new canvas...???...'Till next season...!




Brittany Snow Interview!

Great interview about the season finale of Nip/Tuck tonight by Brittany Snow (Matt's girlfriend in the show). check it out here: INTERVIEW

"Snow has had a recurring role this season as Ariel, the new girlfriend of perpetually troubled teen Matt McNamara (John C. Hensley), who was raised by plastic surgeon Dr. Sean McNamara (Dylan Walsh), but is actually the biological son of his partner and best pal, Dr. Christian Troy (Julian McMahon).

The role has been a revelation for Snow's fans, which are used to seeing her as the apple-cheeked, wholesome Meg on NBC's "American Dreams." As Ariel, the loyal daughter of a white supremacist (Brian Kerwin), Snow donned black clothes and eyeliner, sported Teutonic jewelry and spouted neo-Nazi slogans.

"It's actually the most rewarding role I've had in a while," Snow says. "This is the thing where I went to work every day just scared out of my mind, because it's so unlike me. What I found is it's actually really sad. I do feel for the character."

THE CarverS

Is this just a RUSE? Is FX Networks just fucking with us? Why would they release this picture on their press website?!?!?! I bet all cast members took photos with the Carver mask/garb and they posted these to throw us off. Whatcha think??



These are press pics from FX Networks!

The CARVER is Driving Me NUTS

OMG....I can't wait for tonight. This whole Carver thing is driving me up the wall. Who else is feeling my pain? I have read over so many theories that I haven't a CLUE to who it is now. All theories have valid points. It's crazy. ARRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

We will know in a little over 14 hours now!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!


The Apprentice Strikes A New Low!

A MAJOR MESS! Last night, NBC's "The Apprentice" gained a new apprentice for Donald Trump. Randal Pinkett was hired and Rebecca was ALMOST hired but Pinkett said no when asked by the Donald. With fugly Alla and Felisha in the background saying no as well. It was very disappointing for a finale to end so weird. Rebecca did well to keep her emtions in check. The Donald should have had more guts to make his own decision and as a result he looked like a wimp. It must have been discussed prior to the show because Randal looked a little too rehearsed in his "I AM A ONE MAN SHOW!" speech. BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!

Okay, back to Alla. BITTER BITCH PARTY OF ONE! Good riddens and thank goodness you did not make it to the final round. She has ice for blood and we can only imagine how she would have run her sweat shop.

Okay, back to Randal. Randal was a class act until last night. Sure, it's okay to want the limelight all to YO SELF but c'mon. It would have been a first to have the Donald hire two people. I think Randal was afraid of being outdone AGAIN! Rebecca on the final task BEAT YO ASS hands down.

And now to YAHOO! who looked like complete ASS. Whoever that woman executive was for YAHOO! really put a damper on raising money for a very important charity, the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Was it really a surprise to see the CFO of YAHOO! show up at the live finale to make a $100,000.00 donation. NO! They should have donated another $100,000 for the fugly woman executive. Because she messed up big time in pushing for YAHOO to be so prominent and in everybody's face. The woman executive from YAHOO! should be put in the front of the Donald for a good firing.

Not sure that I can really watch "The Apprentice" again after last night. It left you asking tons of questions, a little on the "icky" side and then completely pissed off! What a mess of a show and some bitter contestants who barely got to talk unless they were women. Perhaps the Donald was still on his "menu" state of mind. Just a big ole mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Nip/Tuck's CARVER Revealed!


I just constructed an image of the Carver out of individual frames from the Carver's online videos on MySpace. If you notice at the end of each video there is some flashing. Well it looked like and eye to me. I slowed it down and sure enough it was but it was upside down. I looked through a couple more frames and I saw a forehead and hair.

I took both images and rotated them around so they would fit and I had the left side of the face. I made a mirror copy to get the right side and BAM! There's our CARVER! (Shhh...but I think it is Julia!) Click the picture to see the fullsize image.


Microsoft in a Tizzy Over its XBOX 360

Yes, the holidays are upon us and all the children's parents are out at BestBuy getting the new XBOX 360 for under the tree, menorah, or festivus pole....but are they really? This thing is RIDDLED with problems! Over-heating is the main one. BestBuy is even allowing customers to return the video game console with a "No Questions Asked" policy until the middle of January! The consumers in Japan are even turning their noses up at the console. There are a large number of XBOX 360s still on the shelves after the launch on December 10th. What a mess for Microsoft.

Microsoft's XBOX 360

I myself am an AVID Nintendo fanatic. I just don't do the Playstation or XBOX routes. I'm glad Nintendo is going down a different road in this current "console war" and came up with innovative technology to set itself apart from the pack.

Nintendo's Revolution (ign.com)

The controller is all the buzz right now on various Nintendo message boards and gaming websites. Definitely check it out, and at a reported $149.00 - $199.00 price tag I will certainly be one of the first people in line to get this amazing new piece of hardware! Why settle for only better graphics (with Playstation 3 or XBOX 360) when I can get better graphics, all of Nintendo's game library for download-and-play (dating back to 1981), AND a totally NEW way to play games all in one new console? My bet is on Nintendo to regain the top spot in the console video game market come 2006-2007!



OK. If you have NEVER downloaded and installed FireFox before then I suggest you click the FireFox button on the left side of this blog and get it. Firefox is a Internet browser that is FAR SUPERIOR to Internet Explorer. You can even use it if you use AOL to connect to the Internet. TRY IT OUT! :)



You did not hear it from us........but stay tuned to Project Runway Season 2. (Kudos to Heidi Klum for being preggers and still being f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s)

Andrae, pictured here below is a MAJOR MESS who had a MAJOR MELTDOWN and could have possibly survived the first round with his hysterical crying scene. Tim told you he was concerned with your concept.....HELLO!! BIG HINT!!

We say..."GET A GRIP MARY!" And stop with the sashay. That's why you have a professional model.

Also stay tuned this week for a possible explosion between Santiago and judge Nina. For loyal viewers, you know that they don't call her hurricane Nina for nothing. What are you thinking Santiago?

You are either in or your out! We say you are either a mess or not!


Big Ole Mess now has a domain name!!!

From now on you can access Big Ole Mess by typing "www.bigolemess.com" or "bigolemess.com" into your favorite browser!! I believe your favorite browser should be FireFox, but hey...that's just my opinion.

Strong Bad!

If you're ever bored or find yourself in a mess visit Strong Bad's email website. You can get a great laugh by watching the numerous clips or send him an email asking for advice to get out of your big ole mess! If you can't decide which one to watch click the 'random.bat' at the top right corner of Strong Bad's Lappy 486 computer and he'll pick one out for you! Have fun!

What's your favorite synonym for 'MESS'?

rat's nest


Vocab Blast From the Past

I couldn't believe I had forgotten how cool the word "rad" is. I mean...damn...it's RAD! I totally had not heard that word in YEARS since this morning during a chat with a friend of mine that lives where I grew up. Check it out:

[09:06] Friend: HAPPY B DAY 2 ME!
[09:07] BMM: oh yay
[09:07] BMM: 25!
[09:07] Friend: yup!
[09:07] BMM: u may now rent a car
[09:07] BMM: congrats
[09:07] Friend: this is true!
[09:07] Friend: thanks!
[09:07] BMM: lol
[09:08] Friend: and they no longer can charge me the underage fees
[09:08] BMM: you are 1/4 of a century old
[09:08] Friend: for renting cars
[09:08] Friend: man
[09:08] BMM: and your insurance goes down
[09:08] Friend: does it?!
[09:08] BMM: yup
[09:08] Friend: rad!
[09:08] BMM: OMG
[09:08] BMM: you just said rad
[09:08] Friend: lol
[09:08] BMM: i haven't heard that in AGES
[09:08] BMM: i may just have to blog this
[09:08] Friend: thats the coolest word ever!



Ford Motor Company announced today that they will no longer advertise in the gay market for LandRover and Jaguar!! I SAY MESS! MESS!! MESS!!

Ford Motor Company had been under a boycott by the religious right and says that the decision is not related to the boycott. WHATEVER!!

As someone who has owned Ford vehicles in the past, I am extremely disappointed in this announcement. What a wimp ass wuss move on Ford's part to bow down to the American Family Association. Families in America are more diverse than they have ever been.

As Mom always said....."religion and politics don't mix honey!"



Shutdown the City! It's SNOWING!

[begin rant]

Lord Jesus! You would have thought that the terrorist alert level had gone to RED with the way people act around this city when it starts snowing. The whole damn federal government freaks out, sends people home, and shuts itself down!

Motorists on 395, 270 Spur, and the Beltway, among others, are all CRA-ZY. No one knows how to drive in this city first of all. We are a cross-section of every citizen in this country. Put us in the same city and driving habits mix and cause great confusion. Put snow up in the middle of us and it's just one big clusterfuck here in Our Nation's Capitol! I hope I don't go all ROAD RAGE on some idiot from Maryland today while driving home! You must pray.

[end rant]

Today's Baptist Church Bulletin


This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the
church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. Will ladies giving
milk, please come early.

Wednesday the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johns will sing "Put
Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.

Thursday at 5 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All
wishing to become Little Mothers will please meet the Minister in his

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jackson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the
new carpeting. All wishing to do something on the carpet, please come
forward and get a piece of paper.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

A White Trash Christmas

A co-worker just sent me this funny video! Check it out:

A White Trash CrisMESS!

The Holiday Party Season Has Started!!

Okie dokie. Myself and BMM attended a fabulous holiday party on Saturday evening. The invitation was very nice and we totally expected that the guest of honor would be in attendance. BUT NO! The four legged canine was not invited to his own party. He was held hostage at a nearby neighbor's house. Buster should have been there with an outfit on and reindeer antlers on his head! What the hell!!

Anyway......the night got very interesting. We were quite entertained with three women who we shall refer to as the "Three Wise Queens" due to the intake of alcohol.

Silky - Wise Woman #1 - was swaying in the wind although there was no wind inside the house. She could not have walked a straight line if she tried. She also had the "I LOVE YOU MAN" syndrome for the rest of the evening. Even when I called her dude as we were watching V. Tech get hammered by Florida State.

Rosy Cheeks - Wise Woman # 2 (owner of the house) was in rare form as well. She was busy entertaining the remaining drunks with drinks and trying to play matchmaker as well with a local neighbor man. The local neighbor man is related to a band member of Pearl Jam. Rosy was going through her list of Wisteria Lane to see who might be suitable for the gentlman. By the way.....Rosy was having this conversation in her pajamas, drinking wine and opening up a gift from "Silky" while Silky kept screaming that "YOU ARE SO GONNA LOVE THIS!" The gift was a Frogger game that plugs directly into the t.v. FROGGER...blast from the past!

The third wise woman was Miss Cleo. Miss Cleo was quite the trip. She kept the party at full throttle and was using party napkins as foul napkins for the party and for the V. Tech/FSU game. "FAG on the play, I mean Flag on the play" was her constant cry as she kept throwing napkins in the air. Miss Cleo also likes to arm wrestle. Don't do it. This girl has muscles from days gone by. She arm wrestled her brothers as a child and has not lost a match yet. Be AFRAID!

It was a long evening for us as we had been to the Miss Arlington pageant before the party. We were happy to announce to the three wise women that it was a good pageant and there was a lack of cameltoe this time around. Although BMM thinks he saw a little bit of CT on the winner but could not confirm the sighting.

We left the three big messes (the three wise women) to finish their wine and stories as it was approaching 1 a.m. The next day we got a phone call informing us that we left too soon because "Silky" was explaining the fine talents of dry humping to the older neighborhood gentleman. MESS!

We love the three wise women for being big ole messes. Congrats ladies. You made the blog.


Miss America taking a GAMBLE in Las Vegas

Don't really need to say much mo!!
Miss America is leaving Atlantic City for Sin City!!


Shirley MacLaine Loves Her Some Oscar

Recently quoted in a CNN.com article, Shirley MacLaine states that she loves winning awards, but don't dress her up all nice! Most actors/actresses are modest about these things, but I love how Shirley tells the truth!

When it comes to candor about the Oscars, Shirley MacLaine may take the best-actress prize. The five-time nominee, who won best actress for "Terms of Endearment," was blunt about the possibility of winning again, this time for her supporting role as a grandma in the sibling-rivalry tale "In Her Shoes."

"I love to win those things. Love it," MacLaine said. "The only part about it I don't like is the red carpet and getting a dress and walking around in high heels and holding in my stomach. I hate that."

I can't help to notice how much different she looks in her recently released film "In Her Shoes" versus her upcoming film "Rumor Has It". She looks so much younger and thinner in the latter! I guess it's the hair and makeup? What do you think?

"In Her Shoes"

"Rumor Has It..."

MESS if you ask me...


"Biggest Loser" - Suzy Rocks!

Both BMM and myself were cheering for Suzy!

What a huge difference for all three finalists!
A shout out to Andrea for looking HOT last night.

Special note to the host - Caroline Rhea.....you need some good gay friends to help you before you hit the stage. MESS! MESS!! MESS!!! You look like you had just been in a back alley bitch slappin fight and then grabbed your wig and plopped it on yo' head before the show. You looked bruised and abused.

Some bad editing on this finale show as well. Camera angles all off and camera operators lost from the top of the show. MESS!!!!

Egg Bowl 2005

Mississippi State vs. Ole Miss (or Ole Mess whichever you prefer)

After a lackluster season for both teams, it was a showdown. Most of the critics picked the Rebels for a big win. UPSET!!! State not only won the football game - but they looked like a bowl bound team! 35-14 was the final score. It was a great game to see and we had the perfect seats. The only thing not perfect were the Ole Miss fans sitting in front of us. They left early in the 4th quarter with the Rebel flag tucked firmly in their ass.

It takes a lot of nerve for an Ole Miss fan to walk through the Bulldog tailgate parties. One rebel almost got his ass kicked for doing so. Just ignant!!

I say so long until next year Ole Miss because ya'll were a big ole mess - on and off the field. Mo power to the dawgs!!

The Lottery

I want to give a shout-out to my cuzzins, LS & SS out in Los Angles. They are releasing their first CD with the band "The Lottery". The CD is titled "All your Vices, Use Them Well".

Check them out here: The Lottery on MySpace OR The Lottery's Official Website (Coming Soon)!!

Also, the tracks from the CD will be available through iTunes very soon.

Starkville, Mississippi's Biggest Mess Proclaims, "This Town Loooooves ME!"

So R24 and I get to Starkville, MS on Friday night. We were there to see friends and go to the Mississippi State vs. Mississippi football game (MSU won handily 35-14). Anywho, Mr. LPB was a drunken MESS before we even got there. See, LPB is one of my bestest friends and he was a mean ole bitch that night!

We were at a restaurant with some friends having dinner and this queen was yellin and screamin. We tried to settle him down and all he kept saying was that "These people in here KNOOOOOWWW ME! They don't care! This town LOOOOVES ME!".

LOL. I about fell out of my chair. Um YEAH...they love how you ACT A FOOL out in public!! UGH...and LPB was picking on me all night! :( BLAH!

However, the next day we all had fun and everything was ok. I think what happens is as long as you are on the same drunken level as the next person then you don't notice how obnoxious you or anyone else around you is. I'm sure I was a big ole mess retard during the tailgate and game! :)



There will be no nativity scene in Washington, DC this year!

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Twinkle Twankle

Jesus Christ on a Cross! I had no idea that the GOP chairname's name, in Alabama, is TWINKLE. LOL! What were ole mom and pop thinking?

Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh

I saw her today on MSNBC talking about the War in Iraq. She was claiming that the Democrats are anti-American in their current rhetoric for wanting to pull out of the war. She quoted Howard Dean (DNC leader) for calling Republicans "only white Christians" after trying to defend Rep. Jean Schmidt's (R-Ohio) quip from a Marine colonel: "He asked me to send Congress a message -- stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message -- that cowards cut and run, Marines never do," Schmidt said. Murtha is a 37-year Marine veteran.

[HEY SCHMIDT! Insert foot in mouth now.]


What if for some reason (and I am being very hypothetical here) if she were to rise in the ranks, run for President, and win?

Reporter #1: "Umm...Madame President Twinkle...Do you feel that the other heads-of-state are wrong when they giggle at the sound of your name as you enter a room?"

President Twinkle: "Yes...I do. Now...does anyone have a legitimate question to ask regarding this summit?"

Reporter #2: "Madame President Twinkle...if you could be any star in this grand universe of ours, excluding Holly and Bali Woods, which one would you be and why?"

President Twinkle: "For God's sake! This press conference is OVER!"

I don't think the press would ever get over her name.

Wretched-Ass Plant

Well it looks like the nasty smelling Amorphophallus titanum plant is in bloom again at the U.S. Botanic Garden in D.C. I saw and smelled it a couple of years ago with my friend JM. It was N-A-S-T-Y and impressive all at the same time. Wonder why "phallus" is in it's name....Hmmmmm...???

A quote from the CNN.com article: "Now that it's in bloom, the plant has also started emitting a smell that's drawn comparisons to garbage, spoiled meat, and rotting fish."

That is one big ole 12 foot high, stank, RANK MESS.


"I see we have a celebrity up in here to-day...give it up and put yo hands togetha for the complex multi-talents of MISS LATOYA JACKSON!!....who is sitting in first class with us today."


Creative Clay

If any of you "Mo's" watched the Apprentice last night you probably saw Clay exit the Trump Tower for the final time. I have to admit I was cheering for Clay along the way for a little bit and then his antics got a little old. He would have been perfect as the Blizzard Queen for the Dairy Queen mascot!! Not because he is gay but because he can be frigid, bitter and abrasive in a New York minute.

Clay could possibly be the son or younger brother of Leslie Jordan from "Will & Grace." I think they may be the same height at 4' 11". I think Clay and Leslie Jordan should hit the road and perform in Southern drag bars doing "Sister's" or some other campy number.

I am sure that there were creative edits around Clay and his antics. It is Hollywood and Trump after all. So it is getting down to the wire and it had become quite apparent that Clay was difficult to work with. Let's do the math here. Openly gay, real estate agent from Texas. Of course Clay was going to ride the pony his way. Good job Clay but it was time for the "MO" to go!! Huffing and puffing along the way did not help matters. I kept waiting for a full out temper tantrum.

Like Trump said - "That is why they have menus in restaurants. I like steak, some people like spaghetti. That's OK." The side order (ahem...short order) of Clay is no longer on the Trump menu. Which I for one think is good. Leave the drama in Texas.



Ana Lucia ROCKS

Lord have mercy on the Tailaways! That Ana Lucia girl put herself into a situation that could have turned out to be one BIG OLE MESS on last night's episode of Lost but instead all turned out for the best. Kudos to her for going off ALONE with someone she KNEW was a danger and taking him out! That scene was awesome with the fruit and knife. Goodwin got kabobbed on a stick! I can't wait to see how the rest of the Lost characters react when everyone is reunited. This show is crazy-addictive!

Check out the Theory Threads to satisfy the itch until next week!


Cricket and Trigger

Umkay. BMM and I had the pleasure of hangin' out in Southern Indiana over the weekend. We were deep in the heart of REDNECK country. It was quite educational as it always tends to be. From the "STOP S.O.B.'s" (stop sexually oriented businesses) campaign to partying with the locals at a Best Western it was FULL ON REDNECK. The "MO" invasion was on.

The most memorable redneck was Cricket. Hey, I don't make this stuff up. A man who is probably in his late 40's or early 50's and probably has Schlitz Malt liquor on tap at his farm. He was tore up from the farm up. He actually rode his horse to the Best Western. I had to see it for myself. Poor trigger was tied up outside at one of the lights overlooking the parking lot. Trigger's saddle was decorated with reflective strips. You could just hear trigger saying "Damnit if this fool is not drunk yet again and I have to carry his ass all the way back to the farm!" Is it possible that there is a R.U.I or H.U.I in farm country?

Cricket had one six pack too many. At one point I wondered if his eyes were glassy or if they were glass eyes. His ability to drink, smoke, cuss like a sailor and slobber were impressive. I just kept waiting for an ass or crotch scratch and thankfully that did not occur. Although it was funny to hear him talk about the town whore and to also hear him scream "BITCH" at the town bitch. Neither woman was really phased much as they were making moves to obtain hotel keys for the after party. Cricket was a BIG OLE MESS!! He had to be helped out to his horse. He may still be lost on some back road or cornfield. Bless his heart.

I cannot remember the last time a party was held at a Best Western Ballroom. I think this memory shall last us for a while. Not really sure that I need to hear "Git 'er done" anytime soon.
All in all it was an awesome time!! We should have served as the dj's for the night. Some of the cd's and songs were busted big time. We won the game of *cornhole (I actually got 4 in the hole) as it was couple against couple (Me and Boo/BMM and Tiffany). I am sure the effect of Budlight helped quite a bit on that rainy Saturday night.

*-see prior blog entry "Cornhole"


I was in southern Indiana with R24 over the past weekend. We were introduced to a game called Cornhole. Never heard of it? Well we hadn't either. I saw grown, drunk men and women throwing bean bags at wooden ramps with holes at the top, and I was thinking, "What the hell?"

I about spit my beer out when the locals told us what the game was called...CORNHOLE! HaHa...yeah yeah...I'm being adolescent. The Official Standards and Rules are on the Corn Toss Game Association website :)

The town whore and town bitch were really good at the game. I saw them play, drink, flirt, and be down right redneck all night. I sucked at the game....never got one bag in the hole.

I think I might have a fun craft project on my hands this weekend. I'm sure Home Depot has all the materials needed to make my own cornhole ramps and bean bags! YAY! PROJECT!


Seafood WHAT?!


Seafood ice cream has arrived and is a HOT item in Tawain. How gross. Asians have the weirdest taste in food! (I shouldn't generalize, but it's too easy not to.)

Yeah...Yeah...I know...Don't knock it 'till you try it. Well until I do, I will say it sure does SOUND gross. Excerpt: "The 13 flavours on offer include pineapple shrimp, wasabi cuttlefish, strawberry tuna and mango seaweed, all in stark colors from orange to green to black."


PANK is the New BLAH!

I HAVE to give a shout-out to this blog that was just introduced to me by DMN called Pink is the New Blog. This blog is hilarious! Oh...and I'm loving the paparazzi photos. Definitely take a look. This guy makes the celebs look like huge messes.


The good people at Grayson Fairbanks, Inc. have put together a line of body products in an attempt to eliminate the negative connotations attached to the word "fag". 'Fag' is now an acronym that stands for "Fabulous and Gay". What a great idea!

Their signature product is called "F.A.G. in a Bag" and it includes: Hair and Body Wash, Hair Conditioner, Body Cream, Shave Cream, and Lip Balm.

Other products are available including t-shirts :) Check it out!

RLY says, "What will they think of next?"

I say, "MESS!"

I am 'Lost'

Lost was great last night! I am seriously buying into the theory that all the passengers are really dead and that the island represent some type of purgatory. It seems that when one of the islanders put closure to something that has been bothering them they die (or move on to the spiritual world). Just like last night when someone (Sayid) finally believed in Shannon we heard the whispers of "The Others" and bam she's gone.

I can't wait to see next week's episode and learn the fate of the back half of the airplane. This show is addictive and drives people NUTS. There are so many message boards and websites devoted to Oceanic Flight #815 that I'm deeming it one Big Ole Mess.



Thank goodness the election is finally over.
Nothing but an ugly mess.

Could you possibly imagine 4 years of Kilgore and that high pitched southern voice.

Thankfully Kain prevailed and struck another blow to the Bush White House!

Would you really be that cruel?

Just in case you missed the last episode of "Desperate Housewives" you can now download from Itunes for a mere $1.99 per episode. I know....DAMN, that's cheap.
So...in the episode there is a work related situation with Lynn. Apparently she has been the butt of many jokes in the office about her lack of attire. She buys a stunning white suit and to leaves the tags intact so that she can return it after the big meeting. During the big meeting she slightly turns and her boss notices a price tag on the skirt. Most decent people would pull you aside and tell you privately that you are giving some Minnie Pearl. But no....Lynn is humiliated when her boss rips the tag off of the skirt and hands it to her. WHAT A BITCH!! Perhaps there will be a good cat fight between these two before the end of the season. Go Lynn!! Take a whack-a-wheezer!!
Other items of desperate mention. C'mon Bree the dude is a creep, he helped Rex to an early grave and he is a big ole closet "MO!"
Gabrielle, playing hard to get is just not your game. What happened to the diversity in the circle this week? Susan, Susan, SUSAN!! The crying in Mom's wedding gown, running barefoot after Mike, standing in the middle of the street, blocking Mike's truck, pleading for mercy and begging for forgiveness was a "BIG OLE MESS" and a little too much over the top.


Miss Camel Toe 2005

OK...So I know that the Miss America Pageant is an establishment in this great country of ours, but there is something often overlooked at this event as well as in it's preliminaries. GIRLS!! PLEASE!! CHECK YO SELF!! (before walking out on stage).

I was at a preliminary pageant for Miss Pennsylvania (will not say which) and I saw way too much more than I should have. I figured the other contestants would say, "Girl, you need to fix that...your CAMEL TOE is showing!"...but no! MESS!

The judges were probably thinking, "Well just put that thing on a platter and bring it right up into my face why don't you?". Lordy.


Unannounced in the Backyard

A word to the wise. If you have ever told someone:

A. Please don't call me.
B. Please don't email me.
C. I don't want to see you.
D. I don't want to know about what is going on in your life.
E. Please respect my life and my privacy.

...Then respect THEIR privacy and THEIR life by not showing up in their backyard unannounced and by surprise.

Thank you.


The Breakup Mess

You know, breakups can be a huge mess. Especially when one or the other is vindictive and jealous about the whole thing. The time during a break up could be a really happy time for one or really frustrating and sad for the other. I think their is a whole grief process involved really. Let me just tell you that it SUCKS to be on the receiving end of a mad, angry, jealous, hurt ex. You want to be happy and remain friends and not burn bridges...and just a week ago the ex was nice and cordial and updating you on his/her life...then all of a sudden things change and there's no communication. Next you ask why and get a hate email.


It is so frustrating. I hate the damn cliche of "Time heals all wounds", but for the context of this blog we will say "Time heals ALL BIG OLE MESSES"...most of the time...

Take for instance Anna Nicole Smith...she will always be a big ole mess even at 100 LBS less!





1. Point your browser to www.google.com
2. Type in 'failure' to search for.
3. Click on "I'm Feeling Lucky".

Who thinks Google will get themselves into a BIG OLE MESS for that?



The New Supreme Court Nominee

My God...look at Harriet Miers. This woman's make-up is awful. MESS!!

Someone should get her to a salon STAT and do a makeover before the comfirmation hearings. I wouldn't want my face on national television looking like that. She looks like the "neck-smoker" woman (Juno) from Beetlejuice.

Look at that eyeliner! Whew!

Neck-Smoker Woman


Drunk Dialing

OK....let's talk about a mess that happened last night. I was cuddled on the couch with my new love interest and I my cell phone rang. I looked at the name of who was calling and realized it was an esntranged friend who we will call Bob Nantucket. I was not going to pick up that call!

So...then my phone beeps like it does when I get a voice mail. I check it and I quote, "Hey shithead...I thought I would call you for a change, but I guess you didn't want to pick up."

HMMPRH! Whatever! Oh...and he was D-R-U-N-K! People, people, people...do not leave drunk voicemails and don't drunk dial people! I have been guilty of this myself. I guess it's the whole "liquid courage" thing. See...this guy was a great friend. I never understood why he cut himself off from me (and a couple of others)....but now he's coming back around. Not sure if i want to deal with that drama.

Anywho...don't let your mouth get you in trouble! (Mine does and my mother constantly reminds me that "if anything will get you in trouble it's your mouth!").


Welcome to Big Ole Mess

We hope that you will enjoy our commentary over the nexts few days, weeks, months, years as we identify crazy people and events in our lives that make us laugh. This will be fun and I hope all readers enjoy!