Obama's Presidential Cadillac Bottoms Out at Embassy??

Obama's $300,000 secure-as-ever presidential ride can't get over a simple hump? It's bullet proof and fitted with military grade armor and gets STUCK on the way out. What a Big Ole Mess.



Let's all say it in unison: "SITTING DUCK". oops

*Thanks to my good friend ardent for passing this along!

Wait for Da BLING!

#34 of "50 Reasons Why The World Is Definitely Ending On Saturday" from BuzzFeed.com

...annnnnnd #23! Who knew THIS existed? Amazeballs.

#TheRapture - Are You Ready?

If you haven't heard by now, The Rapture happens this Saturday! Don't know what the rapture is? Well, Six Feet Under (a groundbreaking HBO series), illustrates it fairly well in the following video (sans the very end...poor lady).

Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. ~ 1 Thess 4:17

Harold Camping, an 89 year old televangelist that operates the Family Radio Network, has predicted that May 21, 2011 is *the day* of *The Rapture*. He has calculated this date from various verses in The Bible. I won't go through the lengthy "proof" of the calculation here, but you can read alllll about it on the eBible Fellowship website.

It's quite absurd to believe these folks that truly think that Saturday is IT. Even the Bible says no one would know exactly when the Second Coming of Jesus Christ would be!

No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. ~ Mark 13:32

Despite this, some people have sold all their possessions and have been traveling the country in caravans warning people of the forthcoming Judgement Day. Talk about a bunch of Big Ole Messes! What are these people going to do on SUNDAY when they are still here? I envision and fear mass suicides on Sunday if the Rapture fails to take place. These date-setters have been around for thousands of years. Rapture dates have been set and then passed with nothing happening. Here's an EXHAUSTIVE list of failed and future dates...redonkulous.

Now, I am in no way knocking the act of spreading the "Good News", educating people about Jesus Christ, and/or preparing oneself for an event such as this (preparation should be a daily thing anyway!). HOWEVER, I think it's a waste of time trying to calculate the date of the Second Coming. WWJD? Jesus would look at you come Sunday morning and say, "BLAM! PSYCH! You're a BIG OLE MESS for believing in those false prophets!". If the Rapture *does* occur on Saturday I'm going to chalk it up to pure coincidence as I rise to the clouds. Preferably I hope it's a clear, blue-sky kind of day.

Anywho, if you DO believe in May 21, 2011 I suggest you craiglist all your possessions. Oooh! You could also Zaarly all your belongings! Zaarly is new and helps you buy and sell with people around you. Just make sure you sell for $0 since you won't need any dolla bills in heaven! Also, you might want to check into After the Rapture Petcare if you have any furry friends that will be left behind. If your pet is a honey badger, then don't bother with this. He don't care.

Trump != 2012 Presidential Nominee

Trump ain't runnin' y'all. Meatloaf is not too happy about it. That's all...

Michael Phelps Can Hear You During "Every Stroke"

OK, Michael Phelps...you might wanna read what you type out before pressing the [enter] key. YES, yes...we all know what you meant. You meant "SWIMMING strokes", but STILL...people with gutter minds (like me...sometimes...maybe) post these things on blogs (like this one...kinda). Anywho. this Facebook status update is a Big Ole Mess:

Royal Wedding = Cinderella + [Beatrice's REDONK Hat]

This HAD to be intentional! Right? If so, it's a Big Ole Mess!! ...and Beatrice: ain't nobody knew who the HELL you were before wearing that RIDICULOUS hat.

Now you're crazy popular! So many people want to feed you an apple through a fence! YAY!!

***UPDATE***

BOOOOO!! That picture is photo-shopped to filth!! Being duped is a BigOleMess... =(

[...still funny tho...] =)
Here's the real deal:

BLAM!! Get You a Taste of Some Bitch Pudding!

What's up hoes?? My better half introduced me to the best animated character OF ALL TIME (cue Kanye) last weekend...BITCH PUDDING!! BLAM!! This Big Ole Animated Wonderful Mess reminds me of a SUPER sassy, blonde haired Suzzanne Sugarbaker (from Designing Women) mashed up with Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas (you know...ghetto-girl voice coming out of a white girl).

She first appeared (for seven seconds) on Robot Chicken during [adult swim] in the "My Black Cherry is Gone" segment. She made QUITE the impression!



According to bitchpuddin.com,

The Bitch was voiced by Katee Sackhoff.

Katee: THANK YOU!

***EDIT*** I just found her *real* second appearance! It's here: "Beginning Season Five" in the "Saving Private Gigli" episode of Robot Chicken. BLAM!!

I almost died from the hysterical laughing that ensued after watching the THIRD (and sadly last) appearance of Bitch Puddin: "YO NAME IS ****FACE!!". I have to say I LOVE how she *twirls* out of the door on her exit.



Many peeps are obsessed with Miss Bitch now, and riots may break out if we don't get more of her soon! She's only been on Robot Chicken three times! ugh! Bring her back!! I found two Facebook pages dedicated to Bitch Pudding here and here. Go ahead and LIKE her and get you a taste of some Bitch Puddin!!!

Driving and Shaving: The New Texting-While-Driving

CLEARLY this woman is a BIG OLE MESS. Read for yourselves! (Originally saw this on a friend's tweet/twitpic here: http://twitpic.com/4tcduy)

Prop 8 and Rush Limbaugh's Hypocrisy

(Originally posted as a note on my Facebook. I figured it needed a larger audience.)

I can't just sit on this any longer without speaking out...

Rush Limbaugh on Prop 8 defeat:

"They seek to impose their perverted views, their depraved views on family and marriage," he thundered. "Nobody's denying anybody the right to get married. Marriage? There's a definition of it, for it. It means something. Marriage is a union of a man and a woman. And, he concluded, "This is about destroying an institution."

No sir, YOU have participated in "destroying an institution" by marrying FOUR times and DIVORCING THREE times. You clearly have ZERO respect for the institution of marriage.

There is nothing perverted or depraved about a life long commitment to the human being that you fall in love with and to have that relationship recognized by law. It's called marriage and I hope that one day that right is available to me.

To quote a friend, Frenchie Davis:

"Eph 6:5 "slaves obey your masters....", Col 3:22 "servants obey your masters", Tim 2:9 1Pt 2:18 "servants be subject to your masters in all fear..." there was a time when these bible verses were used to justify the institution of slavery....we can play "the Bible says...." game alllllll day.....using GOD to justify your bigotry is a far more sinful "lifestyle choice" than anything else."

F*** My Life

Feeling like a BIG OLE MESS today? Well head on over to fmylife.com and post your anecdote for the masses to read! These are hilarious! The best part is agreeing with the post or voting that the person "deserved" what happened to them.

Here are a few of today's notable posts:

Today, I was walking down the street and i saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. I thought it fell out of the pocket of the man in front of me so i decided to do the right thing and i asked him if he dropped it. He said yes and took it. I later realized the 20 dollars was mine. FML

Today, friends threw me a party for finishing my dissertation. I've worked on it for months. They carried my computer downstairs to have music, dropping it halfway. My work was on there. Only back-up? On my flash drive I just found on the floor, crushed by someone's foot. It's due tomorrow. FML

Today, I had to make a family tree for one of my classes. When I was going through it, I realized that both my parents have the same last name. So, I asked them about it and they told me that they are second cousins. FML

www.FMyLife.com

Put a ring on it...... takes a whole new meaning

Check those Frosty drinks before drinking them! This story is a big ole mess. Although they did get flown to New York to appear on the Today Show. She ate the Frosty on a Tuesday and it came out on Thursday (ewwww!). Our hope is that she is getting another ring as this one might be a bit too repulsive for folks to admire.

BOM!!!

SURPRISE! Red-Staters Top Consumers of Porn

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Nation's Capital Pretending to Work Today

So, since Obama said the following on January 28th, 2009:

"My children's school was canceled today. Because of what? Some ice?" he said, a note of derisive incredulity creeping into his voice. "As my children pointed out, in Chicago, school is never canceled. In fact, my 7-year-old pointed out, you'd go outside for recess in weather like this. You wouldn't even stay indoors." - The Washington Post

...the feds at OPM (www.opm.gov/status) were fearful to cancel work for Federal Employees in Washington, DC today! If they had I'm sure Oblahblah would have started out his 1:00pm press conference (to announce Gov. Kathleen Sebelius as HHS secretary) deriding the local officials and OPM itself. Since yesterday the DC area has had 6-9 inches of snow. This is a completely different environment than it was on January 28th with a lil' snow and some ice.

Obama forgets that DC is a city full of people from all over the country and all walks of life. People mixing together culture and DRIVING patterns. I made my way to work today just fine, but I'm sure new (and possibly old) residents from the South are not having fun today on the roads! The old Texas administration would have canceled work in a heartbeat!

Some of you are probably thinking, "OMG...it's no big deal...just some snow". Well that's fine and dandy, but I'm telling you regardless if federal employees came into work today or not: ain't nothin' gettin' done fo yo asses today by the feds. This whole day is awash and a big ole mess.

Video Bloggers = BIG OLE MESS

OK, I'm on a roll today. I added a new "ad unit" to the right side of the page. It's something new that YouTube and Google's Adsense have put together. Anyway, I really had no idea what would pop up there, but as you can see it's a lot of video bloggers. So far, the entries displayed have been crazies. Check it out for yourself! You can now view big ole messes like the one above via video everyday. Just click on the right! LOL

Open it Steve!

Ya'll remember the curtain not opening during the Best Supporting Actress montage at the Oscars this year? I totally forgot about it. We could hear someone on the mic yelling "Steve! Open it!". LOL...that was a mess, but Entertainment Weekly cleared up the matter here:

''Steve is a stagehand,'' confirms a rep for the Academy, who assures us that the goof was not the poor guy's fault. ''He is not in trouble. It was a technical glitch.''

Technical glitch or not, I thought it was a precursor for the rest of the telecast. Thankfully it wasn't because I thought it was one of the BEST Oscars in years! =)

Biden Needs Your Website "Number"

Is Joe Biden taking over for George W. Bush in the gaffe department? Biden comes across as uninformed in this video from CNN's Jeanne Moos. He didn't know what the website ADDRESS was for the public information on the new stimulus plan. He asked his aides for the website "number" during a live interview...MESS! In subsequent speeches he would state ".com" intead of ".gov". The stimulus bill website is www.Recovery.GOV for those that want to know. Oh, and by the way Biden, my website number is www.BigOleMess.com!

Honk if You're Paying my Mortgage!

LOL!! This is awesome. The Tennessee Republican Party is making these. Here's their press release about the stickers:

The Tennessee Republican Party has released a new bumper sticker designed to let people express their frustration with the relentless march by the Obama administration and the out-of-control Democrat Congress to enact endless “bailouts” and “economic stimulus” packages that are pushing America trillions of dollars deeper into debt.
The sticker, which reads HONK if you’re paying my mortgage, is available on the Tennessee Republican Party’s website, www.tngop.org, for a small donation to the party.
“If President Obama gets his way, the 92 percent of American homeowners who pay their mortgages on time will be forced to do with less in the future so that the Obama administration can use their money to reward banks that offered bad loans to customers who had no business accepting them,” said Bill Hobbs, communications director for the Tennessee Republican Party. “Government has no business forcing one American to pay another American’s mortgage. It’s time for the Obama administration to stop the bailout madness, unshackle the economy and the creativity of the American people by reducing personal and business taxes and cutting government red-tape and interference in the economy, and let the free markets work.”

I know one thing: I've been paying my mortgage ON TIME since it started over 1.5 years ago. Ain't no one else payin' it! I kinda wish they were though....maybe for a couple months. That'd be nice!! ;)

SJP: Your Cup Overfloweth

Hey Sarah Jessica....you were NOT at the Golden Globes on Sunday night, but your two best friends sure thought they were! Lordy girl...you almost busted out of the top of that dress! I didn't really notice you during the Red Carpet walk or during the Oscar telecast. A Hawaiian friend sent me your photo. He must have thought you looked quite "sunny" on Sunday night! BTW...I was glad to hear about a possible sequel to the Sex and the City Movie. =)

M-I-Crooked Letta, Crooked Letta-I.....

I LOVE my Bulldogs buuuuuut....someone's head should be rolling for this embarrassing mistake! How about you use spell check before sending the graphic file to the sign fabricator! M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I!!! I'm sure Greg Byrne, the Athletic Director at State, had a nice FIT over this one! OH...and another thing! Where the hell is the new M-State logo? Mississippi State has new Visual Identity Standards that were implemented this past fall. It was a huge deal....where's the new logo??

B.O.M. Watch: What if Ledger Doesn't Win Oscar?

Lord, I would hate to be the actor that was called the winner if not called for Heath. He'd instantly be hated online and probably not know what in the hell to say at the mic....especially with Ledger's family sitting right there in the front or near the front row. Whew! We shall SEE what happens!

I agree with Tom Charity from CNN: "The idea that Heath Ledger won't win for "The Dark Knight" is so unthinkable, I can only imagine mass walk-outs at the ceremony and riots breaking out across the country if it doesn't come to pass." LOL

You can read the full article here about Oscar predictions.